Yesterday, I went to the lab for blood work.
Waiting for results is not good for my psyche.
On the way home, in my truck alone, I asked my dad, out loud, for some sort of sign that all would be okay - I don't want to keep you in suspense, I didn't get one.
A while ago I wrote about a sign from my dad. I felt then, that yes, this was a sign from him, but now I just don't know for sure. I'm thinking I need/want something a little more clear-cut. I want there to be no doubt about it, that yes, it was a sign. I hear stories about how passed loved ones visit in dreams. Then the people dreaming are left with a comforting feeling and they get to live their lives out in this sort of peace. I want that. I want to see his face. I want to hear his voice. I want to hear his laugh. I want him to be the dad he was before he got sick.
I really don't think it's too much to ask. I just want one clear-cut, for sure, no doubt about it, now I can live the rest of my life in peace sign. Just one. How difficult is that?
Now - I am going to watch the rest of Grey's Anatomy because I am sure watching a show about tumors, liver failure, and death will do wonders for my psyche.
No comments:
Post a Comment