Last Minute

Tomorrow we have two 6-year-old birthday parties back to back.

(Raise your hand if you've been there and done that)

I am out of boy themed wrapping paper so I improvised.

Thanks Reynolds Wrap. 

Dads

What celebrity Dad would you have picked for yourself as a child?

Mike Brady

I loved the Brady Bunch.  I think because it was everything my life was not.

Lots of siblings.  I was an only child.
A live-in housekeeper.  What was that?  
A stay at home mom.  My mom worked.
An educated professional dad.  My dad worked construction.
The best part:  An answer to all life's strife wrapped up in 30 minutes.

My dad had nothing in common with Mike Brady.

However, as in the title of this very blog, I grew up - I would learn that the people on the show were actors and had their very own lives with their very own problems.  I would learn about Robert Reed and all the information about his personal life and death.  I would learn a year later my father would be diagnosed with the very same thing.

I would learn they had more in common than I would have ever imagined.

Tricksters

I make a trip to the supermarket every week and try to keep the total under $100.

The man is not allowed to go to the store because he comes home with this stuff.  

For the most part I do okay, but sometimes I'm limited on time and get tricked.  This makes me go over budget and then I can't bask in the glory of keeping it under $100.

The above is an example of such supermarkets tricks.  The $2.89 price is for Five-Cheese Garlic Toast and the below price is just regular plain old garlic toast. However, there on the shelf of the $2.00 price is the Five-Cheese Garlic Toast and if you don't read the fine print it will cost you a buck.  Today I was in the shopping zone and caught it, but sometimes I'm limited on time or am repeatedly screaming at reminding my son to get back in the cart and this makes it hard to catch those supermarket tricksters.

Do you think they do it on purpose?

Remember ...

the $20,000 tree?

It turned out to be an $18,000 tree and 

it's keeping us warm on this cold and rainy day!

We are still counting our blessings.

ALMOST THREE HOURS LATER...

Now I'm really counting our blessings.
I need to clean this up before the man gets home.
I set off two of the fire alarms in the house and the dog is a nervous wreck.

Maybe I shouldn't be allowed to use the fireplace.

Canine Commandments

Wiping Butts

I am failing miserably on teaching my boy how to wipe his own butt.

He is six years old and he can give himself a shower, put away silverware, take out the trash, bring in the big trashcans from the curb and various other jobs.  He gets a sticker for each.  He fills up the sticker chart he gets a trip to Toys R Us.  Not a bad deal right?

But I can't get him to wipe his own butt to save my life and I think it's me. My neuroses. I'm not allowing him control of this task.  I think I'm scarred from when he pulled a strip of toilet paper off, crumpled it up like you would a piece of paper, and start tucking it into his butt-wiping area, only to pull a long strip of poop-covered toilet paper out of his butt and crumple it up once again, like you would a piece of paper.

Just thinking of that again is making my eyes water a little bit.

I googled this subject and found that this is typical and normal for his age, but the sing-song little voice reciting - "Mommmyyyy, I'm done going poooop" - is getting old.

Revolution

See this?

It bugs the ever-living-shit-out-of-me.  I hate it.

Come on girls!  That's attractive?  Please explain to me why our younger girls are accepting this.  Please bring back good old fashioned 501 Levi jeans.

I have a 14-year-old boy that has tried a slight variation of this.  "Tried" being the operative word because when he did it I pants him.  Once in the front yard and once in the grocery store with just us in the isle.  Now he knows I'll do it and it gives him something to think about - Mission Accomplished.

I am seriously contemplating opening a Twitter account just so I can tweet Justin Bieber about this.  Ask him, "Really?!?! How can you enjoy an interview or performing when you're constantly pulling your pants up?  Isn't that uncomfortable?  Why do you wear your pants like that?  Where's your mother?"

Let's start a revolution because I need this to end by the time my little guy is older.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Quirks

I am very strange about my choice of beverage when enjoying a meal.

I have to have milk with something sweet and I have to have some sort of beverage, preferably Coca-Cola, with something salty.  If I go out to breakfast and order pancakes, eggs, and hash browns then I must order a coffee or milk for my pancakes and a coke for my eggs and hash browns.  If it all comes on the same plate then I have to ask for an extra plate to split the food because the syrup cannot touch the eggs or hash browns and God forbid that ketchup touch those delicious pancakes.

The other day someone told me to drop M&Ms into my freshly popped popcorn.  They said the buttery saltiness of the popcorn blended with the chocolate of the M&Ms was yummy.  So I tried it, but instead of M&Ms I dropped chocolate chips into the bag.

She was right it was yummy, but at the same time confusing.

What do I drink with it?

Belief

I believe...

your body really does change the older you get.
now I know myself better than I have ever known.
in signs, but I'm just not sure if I have gotten one yet.
if we all followed The Golden Rule the world would be a better place.
we should all be kind to strangers because it could be harder for them.
that I'm neurotic because I lined these sentences up by length so it would look even.

What do you believe?

PROMPTuesday at San Diego Momma.

Confessions

i don't like daylight savings

There I said it.

I hear people all the time -

"I can't wait for the days to get longer."

Or I read blogs -

"The short days are depressing."

Inside I'm thinking just the opposite.

I started feeling this way when I stopped my love affair with the sun.  When I was younger I would lay in the sun anywhere and anytime.  The tanning salon was where I spent my lunch breaks.  I would take a 20 minute nap wrapped in a cozy heater.  I loved it.  I miss it.

Now my moisturizer has an SPF, my makeup has an SPF, and I get mole patrols.

Sometimes I get mad and curse the sun because I feel like it's useless to me now.

i don't like daylight savings.

Crack

I've made a small change lately.  I stopped crack.

In the past few months I have made a concerted effort to stay away from Coca-Cola.

Because that little red can is my weakness.

A Coca-Cola from a fast food joint, the ice and the fizz on a hot day.  That first sip.

It's like crack.

To try and stay away from my little red friend I have been drinking things like -

That small change... guess what?  Approximately 8 pounds gone without even trying.

Just from cutting back on crack.

The Barkely

This is for a dog hotel.
D-O-G   H-O-T-E-L
Amazing what people spend their money on these days isn't it? 

Bob Jovi

I found this ticket stub a few weeks ago while cleaning out a dresser drawer.  I almost threw it away, but couldn't because it holds tons of memories from my younger years.

It was 1987.  I was 18 years old.  Bob was my most memorable musical experience.

Bon Jovi was HUGE back then.  At the time, I had a boyfriend  sleeping partner, that looked like Bon Jovi.  His name was Bob and we called him Bob Jovi.  He played the bass guitar in a band - Love Bandit, yes, Love Bandit.  Did I really just admit that? 

I had just moved out into my very first apartment.  I was carefree and had freedom that I had never known before.  I was drinking, smoking, and smokin' A LOT. It was one of the most carefree and dangerous times of my life.  I'm amazed and thank God all the time that I made it through and I'm sure my mom thanks God all the time as well.    

It was a blind date that my roommate begged me to go on.  She had met his roommate at the grocery store.  My roommate liked rock-n-roller kinda guys.  I did not until I met Bob.  We spent our days on his cool Harley-like motorcycle, at band practice, doing sound checks, and playing the clubs on the Sunset Strip.  I was IN it.

Things have changed because these days I eat Activia and make sure I eat enough fiber.  I curse motorcycles because they are dare-devils on the freeway and endangering my child.  I'm hoping the next band practice I go to is for Jake when he is playing the violin and if he ever asks about the Sunset Strip I'll tell him there is no such place.

This post was inspired by Rachel Clear Lautaret Bohemiet the grapefruit Queen!

Happy Birthday Oreo!

I read that the Oreo cookie is 100 years old today and while reading I saw these - 

Oreo-Stuffed Chocolate Chip Cookies

Holy. Moly. 

I'm totally trying this.  

Here's the recipe: 

* 2 sticks of softened butter

* 3/4 cup packed light brown sugar

* 1 cup granulated sugar

* 2 large eggs

* 1 tablespoon pure vanilla

* 3 1/2 cups flour

* 1 teaspoon salt

* 1 teaspoon baking soda

* 10 oz bag chocolate chips

* 1 pkg. Oreo cookies

Preparation: 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Cream butter and sugars together with a mixer until well combined.  Beat in eggs and vanilla. 

In a separate bowl mix the flour, salt and baking soda.  Slowly add to wet ingredients along with chocolate chips until just combined.  Using a cookie scoop take one scoop of cookie dough and place on top of an Oreo Cookie.  Take another scoop of dough and place on bottom of Oreo cookie.  Seal edges together by pressing and cupping in hand until Oreo cookie is enclosed with dough.  Place onto parchment or silpat lined baking sheet and bake cookies 9-13 minutes or until golden brown.  Let cool for 5 minutes before transferring to cooling rack. 

Makes about 2 dozen VERY LARGE cookies.

It worked!

I got on the treadmill and even ran a little and guess what - It actually worked.

It calmed me, balanced me, took away the bitchiness - whatever term you want - the fact is it actually made me feel better.  I'm not sure why I'm surprised.  I have always known, read, and been informed that exercise helps - blah, blah, blah - but to actually experience it firsthand, like that, was a bit different.

On Friday, I felt bitchy.  I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y bitchy.  You know what I'm talking about, right ladies?  That bitchiness that's like a pissed-off bitchy?  What really made this feeling stand out for me was that there was really no reason for it because Fridays are our easy days.  There is no baseball practice, no karate practice, no kindergarten workshop, which is why I was certain it was PMS.

Therefore, to make a conscious effort to get on the treadmill only for the reason to take away the bitchy PMS blues and it ACTUALLY working - a little bit of an eye opener for this gal.

---------------------------------

PS- If you are a woman and you don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to the bitchy PMS blues then you are in denial.  If in fact, you truly believe, you do not experience these blues then have your significant other talk to me and we'll be the judge of that.  Or you can sell your secret on an infomercial, but be sure to send me my royalties for giving you the idea.

PSS - If you are a man, you do know the worst thing for you to do is point out to us women that it's PMS, right?  Just a tip.

Hold On

You know that line in the movie The Devil Wears Prada when Stanley Tucci says -

"Gird you loins!"

Or the chorus in that 80s song by Depeche Mode -

"I don't want to start any blasphemous rumors
But I think that God's got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing"

These are the things I think about when PMS strikes.

Seriously - Why?  Why must it be difficult?  Why can't we find a plan and if we stick with it things fall into place?  Why do our bodies, hormones, and neurons fire up at different times only to screw the shit out of our schedule?

Right now I have Van Morrison blasting from the computer and I am hoping the music and some exercise chase away the PMS blues.  Wish me luck!

Geeeez!  Sometimes I feel sorry for my guy, but I would never admit it to his face.