Old friends

This past weekend I spoke with an old friend. I love her. She is one of five women that know and understand who I am and where I am from. She knows my inner workings - how sensitive I am, how aggressive I can be, my insecurities - pretty much everything about ME. To this day, for the most part, I cannot hear an 80s song and NOT think of her. She is intertwined into the fibers that make me who I am today.

I loved hanging with her. She was beautiful, smart, stylish, magnetic...I wanted to be just like her. I thought she had it all...a big house, a car, a successful lawyer for a father...isn't that what impresses all 15-year-olds? Well...now I am older and know better. She didn't have it all. She suffered greatly as a young child, but at the time I didn't understand the severity of her suffering. Today, it's different and not just because I too have lost a parent, but because I myself am a parent. I understand now with so much more clarity the pain she endured and the thought of any child experiencing that kind of pain simply brings me to my knees.

Today, as a woman, I realize she was much more than I ever knew because even though she carried this great pain she still managed to be someone everyone else wanted to be. Her mother would be proud.

I can't wait to see you Bean!